MIDEAST

WHAT IS RELIGION?
Despite its respectful liturgy and doxology, religion is frustration and anger with the Creator, who gave us enough intelligence to understand life’s dilemmas, but not enough intelligence to solve them.

WHAT IS SCRIPTURE?
Noetic, poetic, and prophetic, scripture is divinely inspired, but divisive, epic poetry about a reputed, but disputed, messiah whose supernal power heals our infernal nature by fixing factual, but fabled, family feuds over food, fortune, freedom, favoritism, fairness, fame, fate, and faith. In short, scripture is a fugue of feuding dudes with affinities for divinities.

LAND OF MILK AND HONEY
Indubitable but inscrutable, scripture is epic poetry about religious conflicts in the Middle East that involve land, water, crops, harvest, food, and diet. So perhaps scripture is an arable parable and alimentary allegory, in which “Middle East” is a homonym for “middle eats” (stomach’s food), and the "Land of Milk and Honey" is a metaphor for nutrition (milk) versus addiction (honey). Since addiction causes craving, frustration, anger, and violence, perhaps the "religious conflicts" in the Middle East are dietary, and the Peace Table needs a new menu free of all addictions, which might be the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.
*

*Common addictions are sugar, honey, chocolate, vanilla, cola, coffee, tea, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs, all of which are inimical to peace and health.

BEWARE OF OPEC & THE HORMUZ HUSTLE
The smooth dudes, who ooze sweet crude through the crucial Strait of Hormuz, monetize moods but refuse to schmooze. So let’s defuse Hormuz and disabuse these dudes of their bruising ruse and bad-news views, by replacing gravitas and claptrap with rap, hype and hoopla with hip-hop, and mucho moola with hula-hula and boola-boola.

AN EYE FOR AN EYE (LEX TALIONIS)
Retaliation seeks vindication and vengeance with indications of bad intentions.